A common conversation with my brain goes like this:
"You need to eat before you workout so you have energy to burn."
"So I need to eat so I can go to the gym to lose weight the I gained by eating?"
"Yep."
"But if I don't eat then I don't have to go to the gym to lose weight I gained by eating."
"No."
"But if I don't eat I'll lose weight. And if I don't eat and workout I'll lose weight faster."
"No"
"But if I don't eat then ..."
"No."
"Why?"
"Science."
"Damnit, brain. You're right."
As a culture struggling with obesity we're told by media to eat healthier (read as "less") and exercise more. Generally, that's true. But for a growing percentage of Americans it's a recipe for disaster. A piece in Outside Magazine outlined, for one group, the difficulty and danger that comes from following common advice spewed from troves of lifestyle and fitness magazines. The author told the story of a man training for a marathon, who, despite following a rigid balanced diet and daily mileage goals, was not getting any of the numerous benefits of an active lifestyle. His consulting physician said his reduced sex drive and chronic fatigue were due to eating too little, which led to a hormore deficiency and sent his body into a starvation state. The fix, while seeming counter intuitive is, with a basic knowledge of metabolism, frankly straight forward, eat more.
My mind can understand these facts but lacks the trust to use them, because a more sinister truth is below the surface.
Ten years ago when I was at the start of my eating disorder I ate very little and exercised twice a day. I lost weight. It worked, I lost weight. Years later, I did the exact same thing again and lost weight. It's how I've always done this, in a very unhealthy and dangerous way usually ending with me postponing my career and education malnourished in the hospital.
Now, on finishing substance abuse treatment, I've gained much weight -- more than my healthy weight set by a dietitian. So I'm in a position to legitimately lose weight.
This time I'm doing it right. Yes, I'll argue within myself. And it may be a struggle at time. But it's worth getting healthy the right way.
