It's easy to say, looking back, that I should have seen it coming. and i did. but i didn't stop. often people say self-harming activities are involuntary, compulsive or both, as to suggest one is deseased.
I started drinking heavily, daily and without remorse fall 2009. Continuing the pattern until, along with other factors, it led to my hospitalisation in April.
The clarity i've felt with sobriety has given me the vision to evaluate my past choices. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done differently and nothing was ever as bad as I made it out to be. If fact, one could argue I'm in a more difficult place now. Trying to clean things up and befriending the guy in the mirror.
Recovery is eerie. Mostly unpleasant and often uncomfortable. So why do it?
