10 Goodreads Review Wins

1
 Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

"I could bang Mr. Rochester like a screen door 'till next Tuesday.
That's about all I got from this book, honestly..."



2
Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh

"Fuck me insensible. Oh ya cunt, ya! Ah dinnae watch the movie, bit ma heid’s spinnin fae readin this shite, ah kin fuckin tell ye. The book’s no novel – mair a collection ay short stories, likesay, aboot a bunch ay Scot junkies. The cunts go aroond, fartin n shitein n shootin smack. The book is written in the Scottish dialect, sortay like whit ah’m tryin tae imitate, ken whit ah mean? It wisnnae easy fe us tae git intae it. It made us scoobied aboot whit the cunts were sayin, likesay, bit after a while it became very enjoyable, ken. There’s like a hundred “cunts” in ivry paragraph ay this book, bit it doesnnae mean bad. Ivrybody jist caws ivrybody a cunt – no offense meant or taken, likesay. Bit nivir caw a lassie a cunt – thit shite is sexist. "

3
On a Winter's Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino














"YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE READING, SO I PUT A BOOK IN YO' BOOK, SO YOU CAN READ WHILE YO' READ."




4
The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett

"The Thin Man is best read with a drink in hand. Do you have a drink? Do you need a refresher? Would you like another? Above all else, it is important that you be drinking!

Seriously...DRINK!

My god, a lot of alcohol is consumed in this book! It reads as if Ernest Hemingway had taken up crime noir."




5
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky













"Cyprus hill said it best, "there is something you can't understand. how i could just kill a man."




6
Maus by Art Spiegelman

It didn’t dawn on me until later that this brilliant piece of graphic artistry and fiction is actually a very clever allegory. On the face of it, we’re led to believe that it’s a story of the terrible suffering perpetrated by the Nazis against the Jews in Poland and throughout Europe. But if you scratch beneath the surface, I think you’ll find that this particular holocaust story was made to symbolize something more pervasive and endemic. I speak of the horrific violence that persists to this da...mo""It didn’t dawn on me until later that this brilliant piece of graphic artistry and fiction is actually a very clever allegory. On the face of it, we’re led to believe that it’s a story of the terrible suffering perpetrated by the Nazis against the Jews in Poland and throughout Europe. But if you scratch beneath the surface, I think you’ll find that this particular holocaust story was made to symbolize something more pervasive and endemic. I speak of the horrific violence that persists to this day; that inflicted by cats on defenseless mice. Perhaps the most obvious clue that this is, in truth, the intended theme lies in the title itself: Maus. For those of you unfamiliar with German, this is their word for mouse. Beyond that, when you look carefully at the drawings, you see that the goose-steppers have distinctly feline features, while the persecuted Jews in the ghettos and camps have rodent-like proboscides and disproportionately small eyes."

7

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

"It was like raking my fingernails across a chalkboard while breathing in a pail of flaming cat hair and drinking spoiled milk, meanwhile Conrad is screaming DARKNESS DARKNESS OOOH LOOK AT MY METAPHOR ABOUT THE DARKNESSSSSSSSSSS like a fucking goth on a loudspeaker."

8

American Tabloid by James Ellroy

"Sometimes i chug coffee to the point where i'm glazed with sweat, red-eyed, about to crap my pants, and i throw my headphones on and blast either miles davis bitches brew or motorhead ace of spades. i sit down in front of the computer and write write write. and the result is exactly what you'd imagine from a mediocre writer w/a flair for the hyperbolic all hopped up on caffeine. not too good. imagine, however, if a brilliant writer, a demented rotgut-drunk coozehound of a bastard did what i did and laid out some genius shit... you'd have something like american tabloid. "




9
Smashed by Koren Zailckas

"... With the amount of alcohol Zailckas speaks of having consumed, she still sounds like a child. I appreciate her honesty in admitting to all those embarassing moments high on alcohol and pot, but she should have stuck to writing poetry about dried flowers and broken fingernails.

All the childish intensity glaring from her ridiculous picture on the back of the book can't improve the drolling story which only inspired me to pour those stiff drinks and "breathe the sugary smell of hard alcohol" while "a buzz comes on like sweet music".

The result is a whining, draining, waste of time that I could have spent getting drunk--but now she's taught me how."




10
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

"For cheap supermarket fiction, this sure was cheap supermarket fiction. It would have helped if this was the first book I had ever read. Unfortunately, having read Curious George as a child (a towering work of literary genius by comparison), The DaVinci Code suffered perhaps unjustly."

Schools give harmful BMI report cards

Most of us remember high school. Those who don't decided to give students body mass index report cards.

In short, some schools, in an effort to help students be aware of what they eat and weigh, started administering BMI tests to students. The tests are then sent home to parents with a report on suggested eating habits and lifestyle changes.

The Examiner does a great job explaining why this is a bad idea, citing bullies and shaming and encouraging eating disorders.

The root of this problem is the false belief that BMI tests are at all scientifically accurate in determining health.


Prince Fielder,
Professional Baseball Player,  BMI 37.3 Very Obese

Developed over 150 years ago, the body mass index measures only that. In case you've never had one. They take grips of your body and measure it with a caliper. These measurements are then set into a standard equation with ones weight and height.

The problem is the equation is set up for average built females roughly 5'11". he farther one deviates from the mean height the more inaccurate the information becomes. For example, Professional Football player Eli Manning, at 218lbs. 6'3" has a BMI of 27.2. Overweight.

Most demeaning of this measure of body mass is it's suggested correlation with health. This is so ingrained with society that some insurance lobbies have suggested using BMI in paid premium determinations. Having those classified as overweight pay more accounting for the research that shows they're increased risk.

Oddly, in 1998 the NIH and CDC reclassified overweight BMI from 27.8 to 25, effectively overnight making 29 million Americans overweight. They were all healthy the day before, now they're told to lose weight. This done with no concern how they feel or perceive themselves -- no medical check-up with a primary physician. Is that something we want done to our kids?

Specifically, consider my case. At my lowest, most malnourished weight I was 175lbs. I'm 6'3". The BMI chart, at that height and weight, set me directly in the center on the "normal" BMI range.
Consider then, my psychologist and doctors trying to tell me I need treatment for my eating disorder when I can clearly see my body mass index is within normal range.

Now, extrapolate that information to the hundreds of thousands of at risk teens receiving these measurements at school.

Faulty information and science (in this case BMI) make terrible way-points to a healthy society. As long as our culture continues to yolk health and weight together, progress will be slow and harmful.

One chart to rule them all.



Red Band Society Missed Opportunity for ABC

This fall ABC launched Red Band Society, a dramedy that focuses on teenagers in the hospital. There's a couple cancer patients, a girl pre-transplant and another with anorexia, Emma. A couple episodes in i knew where things were headed. Emma was nice. Flirty and confident, she was the envy of other girls at her prom.

 "Like, oh My God. I'm jealous how skinny you are."

Make no mistake. This will be damaging to teenagers struggling with eating disorders. It will fuel unhealthy body image and harmful behaviors that contribute to starvation.

I am upset. Mostly for the missed opportunity the network gave away. And for what? How could enabling eating disorder behavior ever be a good idea? Are the producers and writer too obtuse to recognize the negativity and feeling a character like this can have?
I have no answers.

I do not dislike the show. In fact I encourage a more prevalent role of people with eating disorders in media. That's why I have this blog and tell those who ask and listen.
However, this characterization of anorexia if off the mark.

So what really happens?


From Liana Rosenman for Project Heal: 

• Abnormally slow heart rate and low blood pressure, which means the heart muscle is changing. The risk for heart failure rises as the heart rate and blood pressure levels sink lower and lower. 
Reduction of bone density (osteoporosis), which results in dry, brittle bones.

• Muscle loss and weakness.

• Severe dehydration, which can result in kidney failure.

• Fainting, fatigue, and overall weakness. 
Dry hair and skin; hair loss is common. 
Growth of a downy layer of hair—called lanugo—all over the body, including the face, in an effort to keep the body warm.

Eating Disorders are a deadly mental illness. I have personally seen it take away someones life.

If you or someone you know are having problems with weight or think maybe you have an eating disorder it may help to ask someone who knows. Contact the NEDA Helpline @ (800) 931-2237  Monday-Thursday from 9AM to 9PM Eastern Time and Friday 9AM to 5PM.

Or click here to find help on their site.

Eat less. Exercise more

A common conversation with my brain goes like this:

"You need to eat before you workout so you have energy to burn."
"So I need to eat so I can go to the gym to lose weight the I gained by eating?"
"Yep."
"But if I don't eat then I don't have to go to the gym to lose weight I gained by eating."
"No."
"But if I don't eat I'll lose weight. And if I don't eat and workout I'll lose weight faster."
"No"
"But if I don't eat then ..."
"No."
"Why?"
"Science."
"Damnit, brain. You're right."

As a culture struggling with obesity we're told by media to eat healthier (read as "less") and exercise more. Generally, that's true. But for a growing percentage of Americans it's a recipe for disaster. A piece in Outside Magazine outlined, for one group, the difficulty and danger that comes from following common advice spewed from troves of lifestyle and fitness magazines.

The author told the story of a man training for a marathon, who, despite following a rigid balanced diet and daily mileage goals, was not getting any of the numerous benefits of an active lifestyle. His consulting physician said his reduced sex drive and chronic fatigue were due to eating too little, which led to a hormore deficiency and sent his body into a starvation state. The fix, while seeming counter intuitive is, with a basic knowledge of metabolism, frankly straight forward, eat more.

My mind can understand these facts but lacks the trust to use them, because a more sinister truth is below the surface.

Ten years ago when I was at the start of my eating disorder I ate very little and exercised twice a day. I lost weight. It worked, I lost weight. Years later, I did the exact same thing again and lost weight. It's how I've always done this, in a very unhealthy and dangerous way usually ending with me postponing my career and education malnourished in the hospital.

Now, on finishing substance abuse treatment, I've gained much weight -- more than my healthy weight set by a dietitian. So I'm in a position to legitimately lose weight.

This time I'm doing it right. Yes, I'll argue within myself. And it may be a struggle at time. But it's worth getting healthy the right way.

Assignment 5

In my seventh week of substance abuse treatment the assignment is to write an autobiography. Or, rather, summarize ones life with emphasis on significant addictive events, tragedy, moments of personal growth, and religion (because one can't get clean without religion, but that's for another time.)

Of course, the glaring difficulty with asking someone who has had frequent blackouts over the last decade to recall specific events of that decade is obvious.

Dozens of memoirs are on my bookshelves. The majority of them I've read. They fall into two categories. The authors who write what happened, however crude or objectionable; and the authors who write what happened followed by understanding, perspective and often remorse. That is not to say either author doesn't feel remorse or guilt -- a mistake I feel critics make if the author doesn't explicitly state regret -- only they have made the editorial decision that writing about it plays a significant role in the narrative. Most times, I think, this is done to appease the detractors.

Ultimately, I realize people will think what they want, and often, likely, say it to my face.

So, step one in writing a narrative of drug history: be confident, honest and humble.

Here we go...

Wheelchair Awareness

The second time in treatment for an eating disorder. I was in a wheelchair for several days and our group was going on a community outing for a snack. Driving to the shop, another patient looks over to me and asks what my story will be.
"My story?" I asked.
 "Yeah," she said. "You know, why you're in the wheelchair. Last week when we went to lunch for outing and I was still in a chair I told them I had heart issues."
"And I was in a skiing accident," a emaciated girl, no more than 14 years old in treatment her first time, chimed in.
I was floored. It never occur to me to lie. I have an eating disorder. They are very common and individuals require professional help and support for recovery.

It occured to me then. I need to talk about my experience often; not be afraid or shamed to hide what I'm going through. In fact, often when I share my story in a large group there will be at least one or two individuals who also share their struggle with an eating disorder.

And that's all I can do. Not be ashamed or scared and tell what I know. And the more I talk and tell people about eating disorders the likelier it is someone who needs help will come forward and tell a friend or loved one.

If you are reading this and feel the need to talk to someone or just want to know more about signs and symptoms please contact the National Eating Disorder Association at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org or call the helpline at 1-800-931-2237

My Mom and I email about God

It started simple. My mom and I were exchanging emails about books we were reading. Our conversation developed into a nice dialogue of what be both believe. I've been immensely helped by this as I've had to look closer into what I actually believe. A sort of comprehensive monologue of my personal belief.
This is how it began:

I haven't read it yet mom. (Lit by Mary Karr)
it's on my list early this year. one of the first. yeah, i agree about being choosier what one reads. i usually have 2 or 3 books going at once. sometimes if i read a couple hundred pages of one a get a little bored so i can skip to another. also, with a book like that it can be really descriptive and graphic so i like to be reading something else fun at the same time. kinda like food. whatever you put in your body or mind has an effect. very true mom.

 My mom replied the next day:

In your last e-mail you said something about whatever you put in your mind......reading, has an effect on you.  And that made me wonder if you are putting in HIS WORD?
It amazes me at times when I read something I realize that the verse was just what I needed. God has certainly blessed us.  When I look back at my mother and dad, brothers and sisters. I feel blessed even thou some choose not to be part of my life.  And then I look back on Tom's, your Dad's family and I am so thankful to God that I was part of their life.
 And of course then theirs Dad and you and Steven.....and the years have gone by. Wonderful memories!
 Funny isn't it Adam how you would like to STOP the clock and go back in time and really appreciate each day and appreciate that person or people.  But the "time" might be right now that you would be looking back on someday. Here is a verse that I read not long ago that I liked..... Ephesians 4 11-13  love mom

 My mother is a fantastic woman. She has always had a strong faith in God and Jesus. To my knowledge she has never wavered from this belief, even after the death of my father, she was resolute, strengthened by God's promises of an afterlife. Religion has truly gotten her through the toughest of times. However, our experiences with religion vary greatly. Without going into it now, here was my response:

it's interesting you should mention that. i just finished a book by Graham Greene called the Power and the Glory. i share all the books i read on this website, goodreads, so my friends and i can give eachother reviews or recommendations. anyway, this book got me thinking a lot about how individuals overcome sin. themes like: is damnation absolute or guaranteed salvation.

"As the lead character, the 'whiskey-priest', moves from one place to another, Greene takes us along on a journey taut with suspense and tension. However, it is really his moral journey which is the most captivating. We not only witness the priest's struggle to escape, we also get to look into his tormented soul and his ambivalence. He is constantly torn between following what his religious faith has taught him while his worldly sense seems to make more practical sense. He feels guilty for his sins, but he loves the fruit of his sin. He almost wishes that he be caught so that he could be rid of the fear and the misery. But doesn't his faith teach him that it is his duty to save his soul? He has sinned and is immoral, but he is also full of compassion and love for fellow human beings.
A question that haunts the priest and the reader throughout is whether he will find redemption and if his soul will achieve salvation? Or do immoralities and sins always overshadow a man's goodness? Greene makes it so easy for one to understand his characters. The priest, with his virtues and his flaws, feels like a very real person. It's not at all difficult to imagine such a person walking some part of this earth in flesh."

i like to read books that make me think. moreover, i don't like being told what to think. i don't like someone who says to me, "god (lowercase on purpose) wants you to do this," or "this verse means this." i'll figure it out on my own if that is what it means.

i just don't care for reaading the bible. i don't trust it. i don't trust men or established religion at that time (40+ A.D.) i believe in a god and i believe there was a Jesus, but that's about all i'm certain of. and i'm OK with that. i haven't met or heard of a single person alive or dead that got Jesus' teaching correct. every person has their own interpretation, i know i have mine, and that is what guides my life. i'm not pushing it on anyone else. only doing what i think is best -- not following the word (cause that's flawed), but following what I believe Jesus taught: love.

i feel like this email has gotten too long. but i wanted to explain so i don't misrepresent myself or how i feel about religion, the bible or god.

Grant it, I may have given a little more than she expected, but I felt it was a good opportunity to open a dialogue between my mother and I about what we believe. As i've been mostly clear for a long time about what my mother believes, I've suspected she felt the same way about me: my beliefs were much like hers (not true). So an opportunity arose, and I took it. I don't consider this disrespectful. I very much enjoyed this exchange with my mother.


More to come...